{"id":1062,"date":"2015-12-21T18:22:58","date_gmt":"2015-12-21T18:22:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/stashreport.com\/?p=1062"},"modified":"2015-12-21T18:22:58","modified_gmt":"2015-12-21T18:22:58","slug":"a-holiday-offering","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/?p=1062","title":{"rendered":"A Holiday Offering"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\"Fb-Button\"\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>
<\/fb:like><\/div><\/div>

Season’s Greetings! <\/p>\n

Hi and a jolly ho, ho, ho to all of you, my dear friends.<\/strong> In case you didn’t receive our Christmas card, in the spirit of the season, please forgive my omission. The following was this year’s offering. Have a merry Christmas and a happy, healthy New Year. Your, buddy, Your Pal, Stash<\/em><\/p>\n

There\u2019s Nothing I Want For Christmas<\/strong><\/p>\n

There\u2019s nothing I want for Christmas.
\nI\u2019ve nothing on my Christmas wish list.
\n But\u2026
\nI\u2019d like just once to be a lottery winner
\nOr maybe just a little bit thinner
\nAnd if someone could come up with an answer
\nFor such ailments as heart disease and cancer.
\nAnd if the poor wouldn\u2019t be quite so poor
\nAnd if the \u201cone per cent\u201dcould help with this cure\u2026
\nAnd if our upcoming White House resident
\nCould hopefully be an intelligent President.
\nAnd if we could stop earth\u2019s global warming\u2026
\nThe same for earthquakes and El Ni\u00f1o storming.
\nAnd if we might have clean air, water and dirt\u2026
\nAnd if we could finally have lasting peace on earth.<\/p>\n

Happy Holidays<\/p>\n

Alexis and Stash<\/strong><\/p>\n

Most of my readers prefer<\/strong> holiday poems that are light hearted, optimistic and happy. My most loyal followers have told me this in not so many words. But I kinda like to walk the offbeat and sometimes quirky side of the street. What follows is another type of holiday offering. Stash<\/em><\/p>\n

Santa\u2019s Tired<\/strong><\/p>\n

Santa\u2019s tired of being a fat, old man.
\nHe wants to be thin and to get a tan.
\nThe North Pole makes his weary joints ache\u2026
\nHe needs a break, for goodness sake.<\/p>\n

A mid-life crisis is what is feared\u2026
\nHe\u2019s already wearin’ a lumberjack beard.
\nBut that bright red suit\u2026 it\u2019s gotta go.
\nAlong with the ice, the wind and snow.<\/p>\n

And then there\u2019s a matter of Santa\u2019s wife.
\nShe\u2019s not too happy\u2026 there\u2019s plenty of strife.
\n\u201cIt\u2019s always \u2018the children\u2019<\/em> but what of us?!\u201d
\nUsually devoted, lately she\u2019s making a fuss.<\/p>\n

Mama Claus is fed up with her elves..,
\n\u201cIt\u2019s time that they took care of themselves!\u201d
\nThen there\u2019s the deer and all of their droppings.
\n\u201cA constant clean up that needs to be stopping.\u201d<\/p>\n

Christmas morning will soon be coming\u2026
\nChildren\u2019s dreams are alive and humming.
\nThe same can be said for Ole St. Nick\u2026
\n\u201cPass me a slice of that retirement\u2026 quick.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stash<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Season’s Greetings! Hi and a jolly ho, ho, ho to all of you, my dear friends. In case you didn’t receive our Christmas card, in the spirit of the season, please forgive my omission. The following was this year’s offering. … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1062","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1062","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1062"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1062\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1068,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1062\/revisions\/1068"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1062"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1062"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1062"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}