{"id":1080,"date":"2016-05-12T17:27:01","date_gmt":"2016-05-12T17:27:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/stashreport.com\/?p=1080"},"modified":"2016-05-12T17:27:01","modified_gmt":"2016-05-12T17:27:01","slug":"the-pursuit-of-happiness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/?p=1080","title":{"rendered":"The Pursuit of Happiness"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\"Fb-Button\"\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>
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Hi Friends… Happy day to ya.<\/strong> I’ve been working on this offering, in bits and pieces, for a long time now and it’s come to the point that I feel, “Enough is enough.” It is what it is. Way back, I thought that I wanted to write something with or about an elephant and this is what resulted. I hope you find it amusing. Stash<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

The Pursuit of Happiness<\/strong><\/p>\n

Jonathan was a dapper elephant\u2026
\nSoft spoken, his manner was quite erudite.
\nDressing always in a manner eloquent.,
\nHe spoke in language cultured and bright.<\/p>\n

Jonathan had attended the best schools\u2026
\nAs a child, he\u2019d been quite precocious.
\nHe always practiced the Golden Rule
\nBut if angered, he could be quite ferocious.<\/p>\n

Many thought Jonathan had a perfect life\u2026
\nOwning a peanut farm, with money in the bank.
\nHaving three children and a beautiful wife\u2026
\nHis lucky stars were what he\u2019d nightly thank. <\/p>\n

But Jonathan had one constant concern\u2026
\nFor all of his life, he\u2019d always been a bit chubby.
\nA lithe, athletic body was for what he yearned,
\nThough Margaret, his wife, swore love for her hubby.<\/p>\n

She said she adored Jonathan\u2019s physique
\nAnd swore that she felt he was \u201ca perfectly plump\u201d.
\nShe didn\u2019t subscribe to a Twiggy mystique\u2026
\nMargret was fond of Jon\u2019s jungle-love rump.<\/p>\n

Even so, Jonathan set forth on a noble quest\u2026
\nWith determination, he enacted a most rigid diet.
\nLettuce replaced peanuts\u2026 sacrificed for the best\u2026
\nHe\u2019d heard of tofu and thought he might try it.<\/p>\n

Next on the to-do list\u2026 he became a gym member.
\nJon went there daily to grunt and to groan.
\nReligiously, from January to December
\nEach evening, he would slowly crawl home.<\/p>\n

Jogging, spinning and laps in the pool.
\nPilates, aerobics, and abdominal crunches.
\nYoga, breakfasts of thin barley gruel.
\nProtein shakes and sparse vegan lunches.<\/p>\n

At year\u2019s end, Jon crept onto a scale.
\nDismayed, he found he\u2019d gained forty pounds!
\nMournfully, he cried out, \u201cHow could I fail?\u201d\u2026
\nHis house filled with sad sobbing sounds.<\/p>\n

But Jonathan\u2019s despair did not last long.
\nHis remedy\u2026 visit a favorite \u201cgo-to-eat spa\u201d.
\nIn order to right what was so very wrong,
\nHe went to Clemenza\u2019s, for a very large pizza.<\/p>\n

Sausage, peppers, mushrooms and onions\u2026
\nEggplant, pepperoni, a thick crust with cheese.
\nThrilled from his trunk to his barking bunions\u2026
\nJonathan had finally found his long denied peace.<\/p>\n

Returning to old ways, satisfying and yummy,
\nJonathan fed his stomach as well as his soul.
\nSo what if he sported a round Buddha tummy?
\nHadn\u2019t happiness been his ultimate goal?<\/p>\n

Jonathan\u2019s journey had been long and trying\u2026
\nFor him, the moral was clear in the end.
\nLife is too short for suffering and crying.
\nIndulge yourself\u2026 food is your friend.<\/p>\n

Stash 5\/11\/16<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi Friends… Happy day to ya. I’ve been working on this offering, in bits and pieces, for a long time now and it’s come to the point that I feel, “Enough is enough.” It is what it is. Way back, … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1080","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1080","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1080"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1080\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1082,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1080\/revisions\/1082"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1080"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1080"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1080"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}