{"id":1193,"date":"2019-12-22T17:43:56","date_gmt":"2019-12-22T17:43:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/stashreport.com\/?p=1193"},"modified":"2019-12-22T17:43:56","modified_gmt":"2019-12-22T17:43:56","slug":"christmas-2019","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/?p=1193","title":{"rendered":"Christmas 2019"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Hi my friends.<\/strong> Nice to see you again. If you have a habit of occasionally visiting this site, you\u2019ve probably noticed that I haven\u2019t been too busy writing. I guess this is so\u2026 but the holidays always seem to rekindle the embers of my imagination. What follows is the poem that was included as an insert for my Christmas card this year. I\u2019ve also included a few of my other ramblings, which are presented for your amusement. Consider them a gift from me to you. Stash<\/strong><\/em> <\/p>\n

Christmas Roulette<\/strong> <\/p>\n

Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas.
\nWas there something on my Amazon wish list?
\n\u201cI don\u2019t want anything.\u201d was my reply.
\nA little present that I can bring\u2026
\nA simple Christmas offering?
\n\u201cNope\u2026there\u2019s nothing.\u201d I said with a sigh.<\/p>\n

? On Christmas morning.\u2026<\/p>\n

To my astonishment, under the Christmas tree,
\nThere wasn\u2019t anything that was left for me!
\nI know Santa has a very busy holiday mission\u2026but\u2026
\nWho\u2019d have thought he\u2019d actually listen?!<\/p>\n

Stash & Alexis<\/strong> <\/p>\n

Carpe Diem<\/strong><\/p>\n

From his early teen years,
\nHarry wasn\u2019t content with his weight.
\nHe couldn\u2019t accept his destiny\u2026
\nHe would not accept his fate,<\/p>\n

Harry was always a little plump
\nYes\u2026 he was a tad bit chubby.
\nBut it was a pleasant roundness\u2026
\nHis wife still loved her chubby hubby.<\/p>\n

Every Monday, Harry would start
\nThe most current new fad diet.
\nIf it was featured on the news,
\nHe would optimistically try it.<\/p>\n

Inevitably his efforts would fail.
\nInstead of losing, he\u2019d always gain.
\nIn sad and desperate despair,
\nHarry found eating helped ease his pain.<\/p>\n

Up and down, up and down,
\nHarry\u2019s weight rose and fell.
\nEvery day was a challenge\u2026
\nEvery day was a personal hell.<\/p>\n

Some people are meant to be slim.
\nFor others, that\u2019s just not their way.
\nAcceptance is ultimately the answer\u2026.
\nThe choice is happiness over dismay.<\/p>\n

But for Harry, he had to lose.
\nFor all his life, he tried and tried.
\nMiserable, unhappy and hungry,
\nOne day, he just up and died.<\/p>\n

At the funeral, friends sent flowers.
\nThere were sprays, bouquets and baskets.
\nAnd everyone there had to agree\u2026
\nHarry looked surprisingly slim in his casket.<\/p>\n

Stash<\/strong> <\/p>\n

Winter Lies<\/strong><\/p>\n

Snow began to fall\u2026
\nMuch to my surprise.
\nI don\u2019t believe the weatherman.
\nBecause he always lies.<\/p>\n

Stash<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Case For The Impeachment of Santa<\/strong><\/p>\n

Everyone knows of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, a holiday anthem of hope and Christmas redemption. <\/p>\n

You all are aware of how the story goes. Little Rudolph is unique… possessing a quality very different from those of the other reindeer. It seems he has a bright shiny nose and because of this, he has no friends. He is jeered at and excluded from participating in the activities at which the other young deer play. He is a very lonely and sad little guy.<\/p>\n

The song turns more upbeat when fog unexpectedly rolls in and threatens Santa\u2019s annual mission. It is at this moment that Santa comes to Rudolph, asking Rudy to use his nose as a beacon to guide his sleigh. <\/p>\n

The story ends \u201chappily\u201d, with Rudolph the hero, having saved Christmas for the world. Everyone loves him, as the other reindeer sing their praises of Rudy\u2019s miraculous accomplishment.<\/p>\n

Sorry my friends, but it is beyond me how holiday listeners can be so misguided in their affection for this universally misinterpreted Christmas carol.<\/p>\n

In this song, it is very clear that little Rudolph is the victim of a life of prolonged and systematic reindeer abuse. The other reindeer taunt him and tease him mercilessly. They mock him and refuse to allow him to participate in any of the reindeer games. The only real game in town seems to have been the continual tormenting of little Rudolph. All of this because of his perceived physical disability.<\/p>\n

Where was Santa, when all of this was happening? <\/p>\n

If neglect is evidence of abuse, then Santa can certainly be found guilty. Ignorance of the cruel and merciless mistreatment of one of his weakest and most vulnerable charges is inexcusable. Yes, it is undeniable that dear Santa was benignly culpable in this wrongdoing.<\/p>\n

You can almost overlook Santa\u2019s ignorance of poor Rudolph\u2019s plight. He is getting on in years\u2026 but sadly, Santa was also a user. The only time the old guy came to visit Rudolph was when there was something to gain by doing so. With weather conditions quickly deteriorating, a desperate Santa only now became aware of Rudolph\u2019s unique ability.This is when Santa sought out Rudy in order to use his little deer\u2019s gift for his own purposes. <\/p>\n

As the story goes, Santa was successful in delivering his goodies and the song ends happily. But did it really? Was Rudolph\u2019s momentary adulation long lasting or did it end as quickly as it began? I guess we\u2019ll never know. You see, ever since that fateful evening, Rudolph has not again been seen. All letters of concern, addressed to Rudolph, return undelivered.To make matters worse, Santa himself has refused to testify as to the whereabouts of little Rudy. (A case for obstruction? H-m-m.)<\/p>\n

My friends, I realize that this is the holiday season. So go ahead and listen to this sweet song about Rudolph and if you can, try to ignore the subtext of its darker message. As for Santa\u2026 it may finally be the time to hold this jolly old guy accountable for his lack of action and to finally start turning the slow wheels of Santa”s impeachment.<\/p>\n

Stash<\/strong><\/p>\n

(P.S. Don\u2019t get me started on Shel Silverstein\u2019s book The Giving Tree, in which a greedy little boy takes and takes and takes from his hapless friend, the tree. I\u2019ll save that for another occasion. Merry Hanukkah and Happy Christmas<\/strong> to you all.<\/strong> S<\/strong><\/em>)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi my friends. Nice to see you again. If you have a habit of occasionally visiting this site, you\u2019ve probably noticed that I haven\u2019t been too busy writing. I guess this is so\u2026 but the holidays always seem to rekindle … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1193","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1193","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1193"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1193\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1208,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1193\/revisions\/1208"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1193"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1193"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1193"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}