{"id":243,"date":"2011-12-02T14:50:21","date_gmt":"2011-12-02T14:50:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/stashreport.com\/?p=243"},"modified":"2011-12-02T14:50:21","modified_gmt":"2011-12-02T14:50:21","slug":"x-mas-day-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/?p=243","title":{"rendered":"X-Mas Day 2"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\"Fb-Button\"\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>
<\/fb:like><\/div><\/div>

Yesterday’s holiday offering<\/strong> was for my “warm and fuzzy” friends. Today’s is for those who prefer the dark side. (You know who you are.) Written several years ago, it seems as if it’s been pulled from today’s headlines (Penn State, Syracuse). Enjoy, Stash<\/strong><\/p>\n

Having Just Visited A Department Store Santa,
\n Some Questions Were, By A Child, Posed<\/strong>
\n<\/strong>
\nWhen we go to sit with Saint Nicholas,
\nWhy does he always want to tickle us?<\/p>\n

When looking into his bright, cheery eyes,
\nWhy does he run his hand on our thighs?<\/p>\n

Why does Santa, with such a jolly face,
\nWant to touch my \u201cspecial place\u201d?<\/p>\n

Why does he ask me to visit my aunties
\nAnd bring back some of their lace panties?<\/p>\n

Why is it that I can make Santa giggle
\nWhen I sit on his lap and then I wiggle?<\/p>\n

Why did he say he could make me a champ
\nAt some new game called \u201cLick the Stamp\u201d?<\/p>\n

I love Santa\u2019s sleigh and his eight rein-deer
\nBut does the North Pole really smell like beer?<\/p>\n

Is it true he\u2019ll bring my presents quicker
\nIf I deliver him some of daddy\u2019s best liquor?<\/p>\n

Mommy… why do you look so very green?
\nHave you been bad… has Santa seen?<\/p>\n

Mommy… mom…?<\/p>\n

End<\/strong><\/em><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yesterday’s holiday offering was for my “warm and fuzzy” friends. Today’s is for those who prefer the dark side. (You know who you are.) Written several years ago, it seems as if it’s been pulled from today’s headlines (Penn State, … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-243","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/243","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=243"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/243\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":253,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/243\/revisions\/253"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=243"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=243"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=243"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}