{"id":278,"date":"2011-12-08T13:38:18","date_gmt":"2011-12-08T13:38:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/stashreport.com\/?p=278"},"modified":"2011-12-08T13:38:18","modified_gmt":"2011-12-08T13:38:18","slug":"x-mas-day-8","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/?p=278","title":{"rendered":"X-Mas Day 8"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"fcbkbttn_buttons_block\" id=\"fcbkbttn_left\"><div class=\"fcbkbttn_button\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/facebook-button-plugin\/images\/standard-facebook-ico.png\" alt=\"Fb-Button\" \/>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div><div class=\"fcbkbttn_like \"><fb:like href=\"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/?p=278\" action=\"like\" colorscheme=\"light\" layout=\"standard\"  width=\"225px\" size=\"small\"><\/fb:like><\/div><\/div><p><strong>Desmond Was A Disgruntled Elf<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Desmond was a disgruntled elf.<br \/>\nHe grumbled, \u201cSanta better watch himself.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He treats me like a worthless jerk<br \/>\nBut I\u2019m the one who does the work.<\/p>\n<p>Bang, bang, bang&#8230; make all the toys&#8230;<br \/>\nHe really doesn&#8217;t like little girls and boys!<\/p>\n<p>Toy guns and drums and candy canes&#8230;<br \/>\nBut  his captive elves are kept in chains.<\/p>\n<p>And when Santa gets in a real bad mood,<br \/>\nHe&#8217;ll refuse to fill our bowls with food.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019ve all heard of his eight reindeer&#8230;<br \/>\nBut what about Santa&#8217;s reign of fear?<\/p>\n<p>He makes the elves all call him mister<br \/>\nAnd oooh what Santa did to my sister!<\/p>\n<p>As for his jolly ho-ho-ho&#8230;<br \/>\nThat&#8217;s just a wine bottle\u2019s after-glow.<\/p>\n<p>We poor elves lead miserable lives&#8230;<br \/>\nOh yeah&#8230; Santa has three wives.<\/p>\n<p>And&#8230; um&#8230; now, let me see&#8230;<br \/>\nOh dear God&#8230; he\u2019s looking at me!!<\/p>\n<p>Please remember everything you\u2019ve heard&#8230;<br \/>\nAnd if I disappear&#8230; you spread the word.<\/p>\n<p>Help!<\/p>\n<p><strong>End<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Desmond Was A Disgruntled Elf Desmond was a disgruntled elf. He grumbled, \u201cSanta better watch himself.\u201d He treats me like a worthless jerk But I\u2019m the one who does the work. Bang, bang, bang&#8230; make all the toys&#8230; He really &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/?p=278\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-278","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/278","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=278"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/278\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":282,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/278\/revisions\/282"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=278"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=278"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=278"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}