{"id":293,"date":"2011-12-11T13:12:25","date_gmt":"2011-12-11T13:12:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/stashreport.com\/?p=293"},"modified":"2011-12-11T13:12:25","modified_gmt":"2011-12-11T13:12:25","slug":"x-mas-day-11","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/?p=293","title":{"rendered":"X-Mas Day 11"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"fcbkbttn_buttons_block\" id=\"fcbkbttn_left\"><div class=\"fcbkbttn_button\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/facebook-button-plugin\/images\/standard-facebook-ico.png\" alt=\"Fb-Button\" \/>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div><div class=\"fcbkbttn_like \"><fb:like href=\"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/?p=293\" action=\"like\" colorscheme=\"light\" layout=\"standard\"  width=\"225px\" size=\"small\"><\/fb:like><\/div><\/div><p><strong>Santa\u2019s Gonna Take This Year Off<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Santa\u2019s gonna take this year off.<br \/>\nHe\u2019s got the sniffles. He\u2019s got a cough.<br \/>\nThe other night, he slipped and fell.<br \/>\nNo&#8230; Santa\u2019s not feeling very well.<\/p>\n<p>He\u2019s constipated and feeling grumpy.<br \/>\nThe back of his head is awful lumpy.<br \/>\nThere\u2019s a constant ringing in his ears<br \/>\nAnd he\u2019s got the fever you catch from deer.<\/p>\n<p>Santa\u2019s got a nose that\u2019s runny.<br \/>\n(On Christmas Eve, that ain\u2019t funny.)<br \/>\nHis nagging hernia\u2019s been acting up&#8230;<br \/>\nAnd the doctor wants his pee in a cup.<\/p>\n<p>He has a stomach that\u2019s in a spasm.<br \/>\nYou\u2019ve heard of shingles&#8230; well, Santa has \u2018em.<br \/>\nHis throat is as red as Rudolph\u2019s nose.<br \/>\nHe\u2019s all fatigued and boy&#8230; it shows.<\/p>\n<p>Last week he closed his North Pole workshop.<br \/>\nEveryone was fired and all the work stopped.<br \/>\n(What a present, right at Christmas time&#8230;<br \/>\n A frosty spot in unemployment\u2019s line.)<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes folks gotta help themselves.<br \/>\nThat thought goes double for Santa\u2019s elves.<br \/>\nChristmas may come but Santa will not.<br \/>\nHis feet are cold and his head is hot.<\/p>\n<p>Friends, tuck away your Christmas trees.<br \/>\nSanta\u2019s just gonna sit and sneeze.<br \/>\nPut a hold on your holiday cheer<br \/>\nCause Santa\u2019s won\u2019t be \u2018round this year.<\/p>\n<p> Santa\u2019s laid up and taking his pills.<br \/>\n(This year mommy will swallow the bills.)<br \/>\nAs for the children, some may weep&#8230;<br \/>\nCause they won\u2019t have any toys to keep.<\/p>\n<p>But others may discover what they truly need<br \/>\nAnd think of their fellows instead of their greed.<br \/>\nThey\u2019ll enjoy their health and the love of their mothers<br \/>\nAnd instead of whining, they\u2019ll play with their brothers.<\/p>\n<p>Getting by without Santa\u2019s gonna be hard&#8230;<br \/>\nIf you have a chance, try to send a card.<br \/>\nClose your note with: Love, Betty or Jimmy<br \/>\nBut for once in your lives&#8230;<br \/>\nLeave out the gimmme-gimme.<\/p>\n<p><strong>End  <\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Santa\u2019s Gonna Take This Year Off Santa\u2019s gonna take this year off. He\u2019s got the sniffles. He\u2019s got a cough. The other night, he slipped and fell. No&#8230; Santa\u2019s not feeling very well. He\u2019s constipated and feeling grumpy. The back &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/?p=293\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-293","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/293","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=293"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/293\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":295,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/293\/revisions\/295"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=293"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=293"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=293"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}