{"id":344,"date":"2011-12-20T14:58:18","date_gmt":"2011-12-20T14:58:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/stashreport.com\/?p=344"},"modified":"2011-12-20T14:58:18","modified_gmt":"2011-12-20T14:58:18","slug":"x-mas-day-20","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/?p=344","title":{"rendered":"X-Mas Day 20"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"fcbkbttn_buttons_block\" id=\"fcbkbttn_left\"><div class=\"fcbkbttn_button\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/facebook-button-plugin\/images\/standard-facebook-ico.png\" alt=\"Fb-Button\" \/>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div><div class=\"fcbkbttn_like \"><fb:like href=\"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/?p=344\" action=\"like\" colorscheme=\"light\" layout=\"standard\"  width=\"225px\" size=\"small\"><\/fb:like><\/div><\/div><p><strong>Willie Won\u2019t Be Having Christmas This Year<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Willie won\u2019t be having Christmas this year,<br \/>\nIt\u2019s a sad, sad story but it\u2019s true, I fear.<br \/>\nSoon Willie will learn how very bad<br \/>\nIt was to make Santa Claus mad.<\/p>\n<p>Willie was always an awful child<br \/>\nBut as he grew, he became more wild.<br \/>\nIn case there\u2019s something you have missed,<br \/>\nHere are highlights from a very long list:<\/p>\n<p>Willie lit our fluffy little kitten on fire<br \/>\nAnd punctured three of dad\u2019s new tires.<br \/>\nHe smashed all of mom\u2019s brand new dishes<br \/>\nAnd flushed away Danielle\u2019s goldfishes.<\/p>\n<p>Willie sprinkled all of our clothes with bleach<br \/>\nAnd put the toilet paper outta Grandma\u2019s reach.<br \/>\nHe took apart our television clicker<br \/>\nAnd watered down Grandpa\u2019s good corn liquor.<\/p>\n<p>Willie liked to pinch the soft, pink babies<br \/>\nAnd he tried to give ole Spot the rabies.<br \/>\nHe glued together Dad\u2019s brand new sneakers<br \/>\nAnd then blew out our stereo speakers.<\/p>\n<p>\fWillie made Melissa eat a crawly bug<br \/>\nAnd spilled black ink on our white wool rug.<br \/>\nHe broke the new refrigerator\u2019s door<br \/>\nAnd made a \u201cdookie\u201d on our kitchen floor.<\/p>\n<p>Willie used paint to write bad curses<br \/>\nAnd liked to steal from ladies\u2019 purses.<br \/>\nHe dialed 911 to make fake phone calls<br \/>\nAnd ran naked through his school\u2019s halls.<\/p>\n<p>No, Willie won\u2019t be doing \u201cthe Christmas thing\u201d.<br \/>\nHe\u2019s someone Santa won\u2019t be visiting.<br \/>\nInstead, Santa\u2019s come up with a special plan&#8230;<br \/>\nA one-way ticket to Pakistan.<\/p>\n<p>Santa\u2019s gonna give Willie a surprise plane ride<br \/>\nTo the land where all of the terrorists hide.<br \/>\nThen he can crawl into a hole<br \/>\nAnd have his own party&#8230;<br \/>\nCourtesy of Santa and the North Pole.<\/p>\n<p><strong>End <\/strong> <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Willie Won\u2019t Be Having Christmas This Year Willie won\u2019t be having Christmas this year, It\u2019s a sad, sad story but it\u2019s true, I fear. Soon Willie will learn how very bad It was to make Santa Claus mad. Willie was &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/?p=344\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-344","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/344","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=344"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/344\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":347,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/344\/revisions\/347"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=344"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=344"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=344"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}