{"id":67,"date":"2011-05-24T17:01:50","date_gmt":"2011-05-24T17:01:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/stashreport.com\/?p=67"},"modified":"2011-12-01T17:28:53","modified_gmt":"2011-12-01T17:28:53","slug":"the-wonderful-world-of-oz","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/?p=67","title":{"rendered":"The Wonderful World of Oz"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\"Fb-Button\"\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>
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Woof!<\/p>\n

Many friends have sent their heartfelt condolences regarding my recent \u201csurgery\u201d<\/em>. Thanks. I\u2019m sure many of you are wondering about how things have been going, since I unexpectedly experienced this unwanted and most unfortunate event.<\/p>\n

Well… I won\u2019t kid you guys… it\u2019s been tough. The last few months have been a real period of adjustment for me. I kinda miss my boys… as many of you know, they meant the world to me. All and all, though, I think I\u2019ve been making the most of a bad situation. <\/p>\n

Not that I\u2019m looking for additional sympathy… I\u2019m not… but were you folks aware that when my owners brought me home, they made me wear a ridiculous cone around my neck?! Additional humiliation! The device looked like a clear satellite dish… kinda like the one you might see on your neighbor\u2019s roof. It was uncomfortable, silly looking and demeaning to all that is dog in me. Sick! <\/p>\n

There was one positive consequence of having to wear that damn cone. For the short period of time that I was sporting it, I was able to get free HBO and Showtime! Yep… and all the other cable channels too. <\/p>\n

Hey, did you know that there\u2019s a spot called The Animal Planet<\/em>, where the entirety of its programming is devoted to oodles of poodles and other cute, furry critters hippity-hopping all over the countryside. Woof! There\u2019s even a fantasy show called The Dog Whisperer<\/em>. Many a time I would put that program on and then just roll around and laugh my tail off. Imagine… this little bearded Latino guy would go \u201cS-H-H-H-H!\u201d and a drooling, snarling pit bull, who\u2019s been chomping on the leg of it\u2019s owner, would immediately stop… tuck his tail between his legs and turn into the biggest \u201cpussy\u201d you ever saw. Meow! <\/p>\n

If he ever tried that maneuver on me, I would finish with the first guy and then go on to sink my teeth deeply into the boney ass of that other sawed-off charlatan. Yeah! I\u2019d give him something to whisper about. That show is absolutely hilarious. I warn you though… if you plan on watching The Dog Whisperer<\/em>, have a wee-wee pad handy \u2018cause, I swear, you\u2019re gonna pee yourself. <\/p>\n

I wore that cone for about a week or so and then it was removed. Good riddance! Although I did enjoy the free cable, it didn\u2019t make up for the inconvenience of not being very mobile. I used to have my favorite nooks and crannies… places where I could get away from the worries of the world and dream of dog biscuits, chew toys and chasing tail. With that cone on, however, I just didn\u2019t fit anymore. Oftentimes I would forget that I had that damn thing on and run to dive into one on my dark hiding places. Talk about sudden realizations! Thwack! From full sprint to a dead stop. Sometimes it would take fifteen minutes for my eyeballs to stop rolling around in my head.<\/p>\n

Yeah… It sure was a great relief, when that darn cone came off.<\/p>\n

Nowadays I keep busy by napping a lot, counting the hours until my \u201cfood in the bowl time\u201d and looking out of the glass of my front door. I like watching the birds fly by. Gee…how do they do that? I tried once but it didn\u2019t work out well for me. Ouch!<\/p>\n

Gosh (sigh), I really do miss my boys. <\/p>\n

Take care, stay well and see ya next time,
\nYour buddy, your pal,<\/p>\n

Ozzie<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Woof! Many friends have sent their heartfelt condolences regarding my recent \u201csurgery\u201d. Thanks. I\u2019m sure many of you are wondering about how things have been going, since I unexpectedly experienced this unwanted and most unfortunate event. Well… I won\u2019t kid … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[6],"class_list":["post-67","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-story","tag-ozzie"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=67"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":229,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67\/revisions\/229"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=67"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=67"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=67"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}