{"id":686,"date":"2013-12-13T14:48:11","date_gmt":"2013-12-13T14:48:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/stashreport.com\/?p=686"},"modified":"2013-12-13T14:48:11","modified_gmt":"2013-12-13T14:48:11","slug":"christmas-2013-rejected-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/?p=686","title":{"rendered":"Christmas 2013 Rejected #2"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\"Fb-Button\"\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>
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Hi guys.<\/strong><\/em> We’ve arrived at another Friday before Christmas and as promised, I am posting another of my “rejected” Christmas card poems. I got some pretty positive feedback on my previous posting… my offering was all warm and fuzzy and pure in its intent. I fear that I may not fare so well this time as this poem lives in the land of silly satire. Stash<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Christmas 2013<\/p>\n

Rudolph tripped Santa with his size 12 hoof
\nAnd the Old Man tumbled right off the roof.
\n\u201cIt was an accident!\u201d I heard Rudy swear…
\nThough are are rumors… we won\u2019t go there.<\/p>\n

The fall was long and Santa hit hard…
\nFace down, spread eagle in the front yard.
\nStuck with the barbs of a ten foot holly,
\nSanta certainly didn\u2019t feel very jolly.<\/p>\n

The EMTs arrived with lights a flashing.
\nThrough the snow, they went dashing
\nTo the hospital\u2019s emergency room…
\nA Christmas surprise, to be delivered soon.<\/p>\n

Before Santa could get past the nurse guard,
\nHe had to produce his insurance card.
\nFrom the North Pole, Santa had it faxed
\nBut he discovered… he\u2019d been axed!<\/p>\n

They released Santa that night, injured and untreated.
\nHe returned to the North Pole, bruised and defeated.
\nThe elves now push Santa in a creaky wheelchair…
\nSadly… just another casualty of Obamacare.<\/p>\n

Stash<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi guys. We’ve arrived at another Friday before Christmas and as promised, I am posting another of my “rejected” Christmas card poems. I got some pretty positive feedback on my previous posting… my offering was all warm and fuzzy and … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-686","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/686","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=686"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/686\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":701,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/686\/revisions\/701"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=686"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=686"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stashreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=686"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}