Yesterday’s holiday offering was for my “warm and fuzzy” friends. Today’s is for those who prefer the dark side. (You know who you are.) Written several years ago, it seems as if it’s been pulled from today’s headlines (Penn State, Syracuse). Enjoy, Stash
Having Just Visited A Department Store Santa,
Some Questions Were, By A Child, Posed
When we go to sit with Saint Nicholas,
Why does he always want to tickle us?
When looking into his bright, cheery eyes,
Why does he run his hand on our thighs?
Why does Santa, with such a jolly face,
Want to touch my “special place”?
Why does he ask me to visit my aunties
And bring back some of their lace panties?
Why is it that I can make Santa giggle
When I sit on his lap and then I wiggle?
Why did he say he could make me a champ
At some new game called “Lick the Stamp”?
I love Santa’s sleigh and his eight rein-deer
But does the North Pole really smell like beer?
Is it true he’ll bring my presents quicker
If I deliver him some of daddy’s best liquor?
Mommy… why do you look so very green?
Have you been bad… has Santa seen?
Mommy… mom…?
End