I Was In My Backyard Diggin’ A Hole
I was in my backyard diggin’ a hole,
When I found myself at the North Pole.
At first I thought this must be China…
But then I saw Santa and his wife Dinah.
They weren’t smilin’ like on their card…
Both were upset, me bein’ in their yard.
Santa wore blue jeans, was drinkin’ a beer
And was cussin’ real loud ‘bout scarin’ his deer.
Mrs. wore a nightie and was shaking her fist.
From the red in her face, I could tell she was pissed.
It seems, they were just about to “get it on”,
When I appeared on their frosty front lawn.
I asked Mrs. C. why all the anger and tears…
She hissed, “Santa comes only once a year!”
I realized now, why I was about to fist-fight…
While the date wasn’t Christmas…
This was their big night!
Fa-la-la!
End